ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
