I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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