Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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