So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
