i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
