i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
