I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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