hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
