Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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