sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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