After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
