my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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