I must be too annoying 4 u.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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