Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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