Do vagina's smell?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
