Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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