i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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