Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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