you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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