the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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