I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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