Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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