roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
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Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
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When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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