sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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