my phone needs a breathalizer
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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