SEEEEXXX PLEASE
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
