If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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