just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
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Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
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I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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