Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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