As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
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im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
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I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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