ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize