Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
