So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
