Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
