I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
