But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
