dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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