i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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