we have officially lost it.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
