My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
