how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
