Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
