something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
