Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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