is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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