That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize