I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Boobs speak an international language.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
