My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
