Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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