chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.