The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.