its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.