so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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