I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
