My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Well I just put wine in my tea
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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