I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
