You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
