I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
