Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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