i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
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