can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
