Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
