Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
