i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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