woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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