PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
