I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
