dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
