Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
