That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
COCAINE IS GR8
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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